The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who his response works mainly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay guys desire to find out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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