The Sex Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of Learn More Here tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Lots of gay men want to discover from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going explanation to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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