The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay guys desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, website link worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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